This is quite interesting because today marks the 2 year anniversary of this site's creation. I have purged a lot of the logs because they were just flat out stupid and not in line with the underlying current of my life. I have learned some vital lessons and would like to share some genuinely valuable insight as opposed to previous ramblings. I will try to embed videos of mine here if I can as well. But the topic I would like to bring up today is about love. Jesus gave us a commandment, "Love others as I have loved you." I will never forget the dream I had at such a young age, where Jesus was murdered in front of my eyes and I heard his voice whispering to me. I cannot even remember what he was saying. But it was something profound, I wonder if I will hear the exact contents of his speech when I die. This must be a secret that I can only unlock through certain actions. Love comes in many forms, and I believe this dream was one of them. Jesus, a manifestation of God, his only son... he has always been holding me in his palm waiting for me to wake up. I am still in that early morning sludgy state, where your eyes are beginning to adjust but you are not quite awake yet. I will remain in this state until I die by his grace. Times before I have been completely blacked out, and I can attribute this blindness to a deep hatred and angst. I keep those qualities, yet I have transcended into something more meaningful. You can find people rejecting God because they are also hateful like me, but they are in a different stage than I. Some never leave that stage. And for that, you should perish. Out of your mouths serpents will be born and begin to choke you slowly. I cannot help but to feel pity for those following the left hand path. You believe you are liberated, yet you are another slave. I may be enslaved, yet I am constantly looking to escape. And this is the only rational response when we are trapped by these walls that others have built around us. Poverty, exclusion, defilement. Defiled by everything that commoners hold sacred. Neo-nazis say, "Revolt against the modern world." But your revolt is futile. Your white brethren have sold themselves to capitalism and greed, becoming the Jew that you despise. It is pathetic to be nationalist. Every person is at risk for degeneracy. A country can never be holy or superior. Empires always crumble. You are being played like pawns in a chess game, andthe board itself will be toppled over at some point. Like how Jesus toppled the merchant stands in the temple. You defile his name when you mention him in the Pledge of Allegiance. You defile him through the military and through the CIA coups and psyops. And my love for God will not let you continue to do this. I am a follower of socialism, perhaps to the point of labeling myself a communist. My love is quite deep. I have been told this many times. But my anger and disdain for the elite, cover ups, distractions, corporations, and the people that subscribe to this... has propelled me further towards the path to awakening. My actions are loving. My actions are to serve and protect. My actions are my sacrifice to the world. And I hope you may also awake in holy death and redemption someday.
I will change up this site to feature cooler stuff, rather than being a journal. I feel images more than words. But words are a way to decode an image, so I don't really have a preference. I want to take a journey to the stars (haha get it? I love black metal) and feel brightness on my cheeks. I have another 15 years in this realm but so far there is not much to experience here. Maybe a little vandalism will give my face some flavor. I find that if I don't listen to music at night I can awaken earlier and maybe sneak out like I did that one time. It was so peaceful, and I made out shapes with the stars in the sky. Sadly the moon had already disappeared beyond me. I will see it up close in my next life.
I started this website because I love 90's culture. I also need a space where I can be delusional and weird. Physical journals can be torn apart and burned, but something on the Internet can live forever. I wish GeoCities was still around, I would've loved to sift through all those websites. The Wayback Machine is my favorite thing to play with. I'm currently in high school, where the stupidest activities take place. It's not as brutal as middle school. Here, everyone is off the rails. If anyone can get me a bottle of vodka, please let me know and I will gladly pay you back. By the way, I'm lonely as fuck so if you wanna talk I'll put my Discord here soon..... krypium