Im so fucked fucked fucked fucked... last saturday was funny. i got an instagram call from this freshman kid alex and he says hes got mr kimmy krueger in a pool butt booty naked. nah but instead i see the lion king himself with his mantits. and mr kimmy is running away as the freshman is chasing him to get him to talk to me. and the most he says is hi in a thick russian accent. it was even funnier when alex pulled his fucking jorts down gently and they actually fell down and i saw his neon green boxers. apparently im a milf now. goodness fucking gracious. that was the most laughing ive had in a while. but now im sick as hell and my nose burns and my eyes tear up every few minutes and im so congested. fooockkkkkk. krueger asked me to skate with him at a park but how could i when im in this condition. fucking hate this. you see im currently borrowing a board because my mom promised to talk to my dad and get a board but suddenly she said no because he is very dangerous. which is true but i also got fucking sad. so now im borrowing the cannabis cruiser. she says ill get my own board on june 14 the last day of school. very cool.... then all summer long if he still even wants to talk to me we can skate anywhere. how about a little borrowing from 711 too... and artistic expression on walls.
I've abandoned you all for 4 months but I'm back to give an update on my nonsense life. I made a couple new songs under the Skrandies name and released "Ideas for an Ashtray" which is just demos. Some of those songs I made 2-3 years ago so it feels good for them to finally be out there and not rotting away. Skrandies hasn't come togther to practice in a while but I've been putting in the most effort I can. I lvoe the riff for this new song I made called "Peeling Skin Can't Stop Me" it sounds very mysterious and/or chaotic. Which adequately illustrates my circumstances as of now. You see i've been taking an interest in skateboarding, a very genuine interest. and I know SOMEONE hates skateboarding but you see you have to deal with it mr andersen. I've been invited to "the skate club" merely for taking an interest in a kyrgyz individual. I've been reading about kyrgyzstan and they were a turkic speaking nomadic people with ties to central asia and the mongols. the mongols were fucking brutal! but anyways this kid seems to have an interest in me as well and we share a taste for rebellion(TM). I like making rebellious friends because it opens up my scope, I can get away from these CULTS that invade my life and make it dreary. You see the church wasn't made for me and I know that deep within my heart. It sucks especially when your family gets a PRIEST to come to your house and walk into your room to throw holy water. I wish i was kidding...he even saw the pentagram on my wall ahah so i hope he never comes back! SATANIKITTY FOR LIFE!!!
It's been raining here recently and I wish it rained more. I hate the constant sunshine. But it's winter so good on that. Today's the last day before winter break and you know this year already feels like it's over. Cause after January we only have 4ish months left. Thank goodness. Then my pain is over. I won't be doing apush...I'd rather not burden myself like this again. Physics seems so interesting. and apcsp. I'll take online english too. After this year I hope everything smooths out for me. Maybe I'll take an art class too... no more Ms Keys though. Art is always my priority. I'd like to mix computer science and art to create something. I don't know what though. I can taste donut in my mouth. Everything hurts in my body. I think I'll take a year off before going to college, live off the grid, train-hopping. Sight-seeing. collecting. I have a seashell in my cubby I bought off this hippie lady for 3 bucks actually.
I've been thinking about grafitti ever since that guy I mentioned before. You know I kind of want to get spraycans now. There's a thrill in making something your own, leaving your mark on something.
Last saturday I was at micheals (the art store, i practically live there) being a dumbass cause my mom wanted clear basket paper shit and i couldnt find it and i kept getting distracted with the stickers.....but then I saw this guy pass by, and he had a cool fucking hoodie that re(a)d "grafitti is art" or something. And pretty long blonde hair. I didn't think much of it until I came out of an aisle to find this same kid just fucking standing there with his hands in his pockets looking straight at me....damn! then i went to another aisle look up and he looks back at me... then i went to the marker aisle cause the markers are so thick and moisturized there(im not weird) and mine are dry as a desert. then i look up and hes looking at me across the whole store.... THEN he comes over to MY AISLE and looks at the paper I wrote my @ on... I wonder if I wrote it too small. I didnt even WANT him to see that. I wrote it cause I want artists to follow me. Im at fucking micheals for gods sake. And I didn't know he was there so I walk over all giggly cause im naturally a dumbass and he stares at me then i run away. THEN this random person likes my art post on insta...then unlikes it?? ok. saturday was so weird!! my hands were shaking the whole time. well what do you do when someone is staring at you....
can whoever this kid was please speak up. you seem like a cool guy! or dont talk to me at all i dont really care.
im already making song lyrics out of this situation by the way. OH MY ELECTRIC GUITAR COMES IN ABOUT 5 DAYS! THEN THE SKRANDIES GRIND IS REAL!! no more brother abraham the name's too common. SKRANDIES will take over gardena! just yolking. we'll take over a backyard. Ah i guess this is now my formal question..
ARE YOU A DRUMMER? A BASSIST? A REALLY GOOD LEAD GUITARIST?? JOIN SKRANDIES!!! grunge/a little progrock band from gardena!! @krypium if ya wanna join!
Marching tenor drums is a pain in the ass but I'm trying it anyways. I'd have experience on every battery drum too. You know all the coolest people secretly do something nerdy! I'm not cool though...I've been binging Nirvana for the past week that's how you know shit's going downhill. Sophomore year fucking sucks. But for my own sake I'm trying to make something positive out of this stressful ass week. I really need some kind of anti-depressant but apparently they only make the feelings worse. Hell no I'm not trying to imagine red energy on a kayak in a lake. That's what the-rapist told me once. And I'm not too fond of God either. At this rate I don't know if my prospects of releasing a demo in January are gonna work out. Might postpone to May. Or till senior year.
Man have I told you how in love I am? I know everyone's saying it's bad but hey I've known him for three years! Longer than I've known a lot of people. And fuck I can't wait till Denmark. Only 500 bucks??!?! Hell yes I'm going. You know I'm not blind either. I have some doubts about legitimacy but the only way to end the doubt is to face the situation. Curiousity killed the cat and it'll kill me too I guess. I almost lost my eye climbing into a playhouse and falling off it. That was in May when I first started this site. Those were good times. I reminisce on times that I didn't even think were special back then. Huh.
I brought back a WBA hoodie and now I'm around 15 bucks in debt. That's just how my life is, I'd be a good scammer the way I leech off others. We won first place however!! So it makes the purchase worth it :) By the way, maturity is realizing that everything after DMDS is actually really good. I love GDOW and Esoteric Warfare. Windir is a good band too. I got gouache paint also! I'm stoked. It's the only paint I haven't tried. I'm gonna paint my walls soon too!! It's gonna look like a magic universe..I should really be working on my two missing worksheets in ap world but I stopped caring. My grade dropped quite a bit. I only really care about chem. I don't know why I chose whap anyways. It's not necessary for any science related fields, unless I'm writing some kind of report, but I already have the basic CER skills. Gahhhhhh.. I think I should be a housewife sometimes but I don't know how to cook or clean, and I really hate kids.
I suppose if I'm in a relationship the dynamic can be I work really hard (rot all day at home coding shit) make a lot of money and he, assuming he has the financial intelligence, makes a budget for the month. But I think he wants to be in the military, so he'll be away. But we can use whatever payment he gets from the military and combine it with mine and we are probably financially secure. And when he comes back from whatever camp it is we can watch TV and cuddle and pass out ^w^ Whatever I just like planning for the future. Am I a "forward thinker"?? an "innovator"??? I'm pretty sure I'm mentally challenged.
Me dijo mi esposo que quiere un traje de charro para que se case conmigo...es un poquito tonto pero lo amo. Recientemente me ha dado para escuchar a los de Alice in Chains. Se me hace muy bonito... Brother, Them Bones, Rotten Apple. Me siento tan mal, me desmaye en la escuela. Dicen que me puse palida y mis labios azules. Que estupida soy.....
I guess no one will see this but I'm done with all this shit. If I fail school I don't care because I have an easy way out. You know, I can get a gun before I'm able to drink! How stupid is that. Guns aren't too feminine but I only plan on using it once. But think of the imagery. I'm going to be Pelle Ohlin all over again, my dead face on the cover of an album. I hope I can find my Euronymous to do that for me. I'll probably be wearing that pink nightgown and a bow in my hair and converse. I'll look soooo good... and finally be pretty. But enough with the suicide talk. I'm going to Sacramento this weekend. It's gonna be the best. I've never been to NorCal, maybe I can get some souvenirs! hehehe
Since I'm such a TRVE black metal loser virgin I wanted to apply some stupid face paint made out of cornstarch and acrylic paint and pretend I'm in the now defunct EMPEROR and start screaming about satan and shit. It's funny, I don't truly believe in that stuff but people take it very seriously and their reactions are priceless! My brother was screaming for no reason because he's autistic but my grandma started saying prayers and throwing holy water on him. Poor dude was probably just cranky. I would follow Christianity if I was alive in Jesus' time. A really rebellious thing, to fight against the Romans. But in modern times people are so uptight about everything. My grandma put on some priest preaching about how COLORS are satanic...black and orange, because Halloween. Huh. Well, I still love gore and skeletons and pentagrams and stuff.
Love is a funny word people use nowadays but they dont love, they just wanna fuck. So be careful when you use that word. Even I catch myself using it in the wrong way, oh I love him even though I just saw him in the hallway and thought he was cute! That's not love, it's a silly passing emotion. Love is committing yourself to someone, giving them everything you have. You know, as long as they do the same for you. People throw around the word too often. And I guess online dating has its flaws, like you can't really know what he's up to. But I feel love so I assume it must be genuine. I can sort of? tell when someone is being fake. Everyone must go through the first heartbreak to acquire that ability. But even then it's not foolproof. I refer back to the Lain episode "Love" I forgot what layer but I think it was one of the men with the eye device thing, he said he is risking himself because he loves her and it was genuine. But Eiri is false love. She could understand it. And Alice is real love. But they had to part ways because of Lain's actions. I really enjoy Lain. I think everyone should watch at least the first episode.
I started working on the actual first installment of the comic surrounding Howl Sanders and more is to be revealed later. I guess Howl is the universe itself, with how many situations he can withstand. I need to study dead animals for this comic actually! I think studying is fun but school really kills the satisfaction. I beg not to go to school everyday...just feels really empty. I'll escape one day with a 20 dollar bill and run away to Washington, start my own cult and collect tribute from neighboring tribes. Maybe I have to figure some things out.....
Currently listening to Pink Cigarette by Mr. Bungle. I love "California". It's a nice intersection between death metal indie experimental and horror ambience shit. I am a big music nerd! I fuck with anything!! Alt-J, Pastel Ghost, Mr. Kitty, Good Tiger, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, Stone Temple Pilots, Emperor, Mayhem, Leviathan, Mareux, those are just some I can think of at the moment, oh and Bladee, The Smiths, Tool, the list is fucking endless! Nirvana too, as overrated as they are they are my personal favorite of all time. System of a Down, Korn, but I think nu-metal's been infested with posers. I can't take any more deftones shirts! By Nirvana I really like About A Girl it's just a beautifully melancholic song. Really illustrates teenage life I think, at least a melancholic teenage life! I made a cover of it about 2 and a half years ago on my youtube channel. It's defunct now, but maybe one day I'll post something again, to appease the 16 folks.
I have started to make my own music but I kind of suck at drumming!! So if you can hit doubles on a kick drum then please hit me up and join! I haven't decided on a name but Periodic Table seems to fit considering my username. My projects consist of a NASTY blend of all the artists I listed. Guitar is my main instrument but I dabble in piano a little. I can sing quite nicely according to some but I think you ought to be proficient in scream technique, cause I can't do it or I'll sound like a toddler throwing a tantrum at Target!
I will change up this site to feature cooler stuff, rather than being a journal. I feel images more than words. But words are a way to decode an image, so I don't really have a preference. I want to take a journey to the stars (haha get it? I love black metal) and feel brightness on my cheeks. I have another 15 years in this realm but so far there is not much to experience here. Maybe a little vandalism will give my face some flavor. I find that if I don't listen to music at night I can awaken earlier and maybe sneak out like I did that one time. It was so peaceful, and I made out shapes with the stars in the sky. Sadly the moon had already disappeared beyond me. I will see it up close in my next life.
I started this website because I love 90's culture. I also need a space where I can be delusional and weird. Physical journals can be torn apart and burned, but something on the Internet can live forever. I wish GeoCities was still around, I would've loved to sift through all those websites. The Wayback Machine is my favorite thing to play with. I'm currently in high school, where the stupidest activities take place. It's not as brutal as middle school. Here, everyone is off the rails. If anyone can get me a bottle of vodka, please let me know and I will gladly pay you back. By the way, I'm lonely as fuck so if you wanna talk I'll put my Discord here soon..... krypium